Amen For The Men In Whites

Men in whites and green sarong slains across their shoulders are yelling about how they aren’t terrorist. With their fists they yell. With their angry faces they yell. With their vicious words they yell.
‘WE ARE NOT TERRORIST. WE ARE HERE TO PROTECT THE FUTE-CHURRE OF OUR CHILDRUNN! OUR MORE-RALLL!!! OUR RAIL-LEE-JYANN!! WE ARE HEEREEE, TO SLAIN PURR-NO-GRAFFEEE…!!!!”

Men in whites in their white hats and their ungly sandals and their ungly faces and their dirty finger nails and their bad breaths are yelling about putting on war on pornography. OF COURSE!!! IF YOU ARE AS UGLY AS THEY ARE, YOU WOULD. Because pornography is for beautiful people. Pornography is for beautiful body. Pornography is not for those who are sexually repressed. Pornography is not for hypocrites.

Meanwhile men in whites in their white hats and white trousers and unkempt goaties and smelly armpits are putting their hands in the air. Chanting in unison that they are not terrorist. But they’re this whole bunch of people who care about morals while they’re making a statement in full throttle anger and impolite gestures and swear words and empty eyes stares and uneducated remarks and hollow speeches.

As hollow as their souls that have been sold to The Devil and The God covered in Money.

“WE’RE DRESSED UP IN WHITES SO THAT WE FEEL PURE!” (AMEN…)
“WE’RE SCREAM AND SHOUT WITH MUSCLES TILL OUR VEINS BURST SO THAT WE LOOK LIKE WE MEAN WHAT WE SAY!” (AMEN…)
“WE’RE DOING THIS BECAUSE WE ARE ANGRY AND IN RAGE IN DEFENSE OF MORAL NEGLECT!” (AMEN…)
“WE’RE DOING THIS BECAUSE OF OUR RELIGION SAYS SO!!!!” (AMEN…)
“WE’RE HOLLERING THE CHANT OF GOD SO THAT WE LOOK LIKE WE’RE THE REAL THING!!!!!”" (AMEN…)
“SEE IT IN OUR GLARING EYES!!!!” (AMEN…)
“FEEL IT IN OUR VICIOUS ANGER!!!!” (AMEN…)
“WATCH US BREAK AND BURN AND THROW STONES AT YOUR HOUSES AND SMEAR ‘SINNER’ ON YOUR FOREHEAD BECAUSE WE CAN!!!!!” (AMEN…AMEN…AMEN…)

Amen to men in whites. Amen to goaties. Amen to ugly sandals. Amen to smelly ugly men in whites. Amen to bad breaths. Amen to vicious yelling and shouting because that’s the only way to defend your moral. Amen to swear words. Amen to chants of Godly scriptures that defy one’s involvement with the Good Cause. Amen to hypocrites, because it’s the only way to make yourself seems so honorable.

Amen.

The Romantic

I woke up a romantic today
The wheather makes me so
The subdued grey sky
The subtle breeze
The indefinite time frame
Because all you see is grey

I woke up a romantic today
I prefer Old bajaj driver instead of the younger ones
I want to be one with his pain and lifelong wrinkles
I want to emerge with his exhaustion
And the indescribable noise and heat
Because the grey sky is in his hair

I woke up a romantic today
Sitting myself pretty at the street food vendor
where I’m a regular
The husband and wife in unison greet me
They say long time no see
But I didn’t feel like eating so I just sit pretty
Because watching them gives me peace

I woke up a romantic today
Because I remember you
Looking at me and your eyes smile
When you smile at me
Like a hint of sun in the grey grey sky

Sebentar Melulu

Hmh. Kamu tahu tidak, membicarakan kamu itu tidak ada habis-habisnya. Sebentar aku jadi kesal, sebentar aku jadi menyesal, sebentar aku mual, dan sebentar aku rindu, sebentar aku mengharu biru, sebentar aku pilu dan sebentar-sebentar, aku jadi mengadu. Untung ada teman-teman. ‘Makan!’ kata mereka mengingatkan. ‘Tidak bisa, mual’, kataku menyangkal. Karena makan mengingatkanku padamu. Kita sering sekali makan-makan. Mencoba tempat-tempat baru yang aneh di sana sini. Seru sekali.

Aku senang. Aku punya teman yang bisa kuajak pergi ke mana-mana. Tapi sayang umur kita kurang panjang. Karena setelah itu kita bertengkar. Emosi terbakar dan akhirnya kita bubar. Aku tidak habis pikir, sudah setua ini aku, masih saja bisa tertipu. Oleh emosi yang memburu. Yang membuat akal sehatku jadi buntu. Dan berakhir dengan aku menangis melulu. Hu…hu…hu…hu…

Salahku? Salahmu? Tidak tahuuuu…Tidak tahuu….Yang aku tahu aku bosan begini melulu. Mungkin memang ada yang salah denganku. (Eh, atau denganmu?) Aku lalu mencari jawabkku. “Lupakan saja, dia memang belum siap untukmu,” kata peramalku. “Bukan, memang bukan salahmu.” kata temanku. “Memang kau ini susah, karena otakmu terlalu maju,” kata yang lain padaku. “Kau memang keras kepala sih,’ kata yang lainnya lagi membantu. Tidak membantu karena aku masih memikirkanmu. Walau aku tahu dalam beberapa minggu lagi aku pasti sudah melupakanmu. (Berusaha) Melupakan apa-apa yang sudah pernah kita lalui. Karena aku ingin menghargai keputusanmu. Yang bilang bahwa kamu tidak ingin terjebak dalam hubungan yang seperti mengharuskanmu berada di situ. Well, mungkin memang kamu tidak mencintaiku. Kalau sudah hati yang bicara, apa bisaku?

Lalu aku jadi tersenyum sendiri. Ingat saat aku pikir kamu seorang yang berbeda dari yang lain. Mungkin itu hanya diriku yang ingin berpikir bahwa kamu seorang yang berbeda dari yang lain. Mungkin aku yang berbeda. Dan walau hanya sebentar, aku senang aku sudah membuat hidupmu juga jadi berbeda karena telah mengenalku.

Aku masih sering memikirkanmu. Sebentar-sebentar kamu muncul di benakku. Awalnya kemunculanmu membuatku menangis. Ya ya…tertawalah. Perempuan tua ini menangis karena putus cinta. Tidak ada yang lebih menyedihkan lagi daripada itu. Entah apa yang aku tangisi. Sepertinya aku menangisi kesendirianku lagi. Sepertinya aku menangisi kebodohanku yang membiarkan diriku terjebak dalam perasaan yang ternyata semu. Sepertinya aku menangisi kesempatanku yang hilang. Kesempatanku untuk berbagi dan menjadi. Sepertinya aku juga menangis karena kesal. Kesal karena lagi-lagi seorang pria lebih memilih mencintai egonya dan meninggalkanku. Sepertinya aku menangisi kehebatanku menjatuhkan ego para pria yang memacariku. Hebat.

Aku jadi teringat kata-kata Tom Hanks dalam film ‘Big’, “Maybe I’m not ready for all of this, Susan, I’m only a kid. I’m 13 years old.”

Well, then… every single man I’ve ever dated is one.

Tapi aku masih melulu memikirkanmu…walau kadang hanya sebentar.

What Has Poultry Ever Done to Thee?

O dear Good Lordie
What have we ever done to Thee
We are begging for Your Mercy
So we can continue to live happily

O Dear Good Lordie
We are praying for your bounty
To be rid of this sickening calamity
and be forgiven for the sin of our ancestry

We swear to You, o, The Almighty
That we plan none of this tragedy
Of the Flu and the victim fatality
We trully trully trully have no idea

O Lordie The Merciful
We now live but we feel like total fool
Our race is caught and thrown into a deep pool
And set ablaze when the fire caught the fuel

It’s out it’s worldwide, o Lord
that it’s our flu that create the discord
Our race is in every blackboard
that says cause of death in the hospital death report

What did we do, O Almighty
What was it so horrible we did to Thee?
Is this the end of human and poultry?
For we seem to be guilty in every possible category

We’re forbidden in so many countries
And scratched off the menus of so many eateries
Our flu has passed insurmountable boundaries
And causing unstopable casualties
Not to mention those who lost their opportunities
In selling poultry and owners of the butcheries

O Good Gracious Lord The Almighty
Do tell what our redemption be and promptly
And if it were really our destiny
Pray we for strength and humble dignity
To surrender our existence to Thee
And pray for forgiveness to whatever
scandalous deed we committed in past history

E Who Goes.

E, go!
Where to?
Well, hell.
Can’t go there
So go where?
In between a man
And a woman
Why?
Because it’s heaven
That doesn’t necessarily happen.

A Man Who’s Not My Father

Tell me, tell me
That you can be the man who’s not my father
Who will provide and who will guide
and carry the weight of the world on your shoulder

Please be, please be
Become the man who’s not my father
Who decides and puts fist down
Takes the lead and says, ‘Follow me, we should be in this together!’

Finish what you have started, Father
Show me that you’re listening, Father
Promise me that you’ll never forget and make the wrong turn again, Father
Is it too late to take the lead, Father?
What is it that you don’t understand, Father?
Mommy’s screaming at you, Father?
Mommy’s tired, her back is aching, her shoulders are sore, Father?
She’s shouting you’re yelling but noone says sorry for fighting, Father
Your love is grand but what are your plans, Father?
Because reality is smaller than dream, Father
I’m sitting here in silence, Father
Scheming and planning to breaking the cycle, Father
I’m confused and sad
Because, Dad,…

I’m your daughter, but you had made me a man.

FEEL

Go ahead. Drown yourself in it.
Soak it in. Bask yourself in its familiar warmth
and familiar pain you’ve known so well.

Go ahead. Sink yourself in it.
Dive to the bottom and touch the sandy sole
and the concrete that’s known your face so well.

Go ahead. Swallow it down and gulp it.
Feel the liquid glaze your throat
Feel the liquid sway your thoughts
Feel the liquid
Feel the liquid
Feel the lick

If it is the only way
That you can feel.

Ujug-ujug…

Puing-puing pesawat AdamAir yang hilang ke antah berantah mulai muncul sekeping demi sekeping. Seorang nelayan menemukan kepingannya dan menyimpannya di rumah selama 2 hari. Lalu setelah itu berturut-turut ditemukan kepingan-kepingan lainnya yang merupakan bagian dari sayap, kursi, badan, dan lempengan-lempengan lain yang sibuk berpindah-pindah tangan. Dari tangan penemu ke tangan tim SAR, ke tangan Polisi, ke tangan Reporter yang melaporkan live, ke tangan orang-orang yang entah kenapa merasa harus berkepentingan memegang barang bukti yang seharusnya dikandangin plastik dan diberi nomor atau tanda dan hanya boleh dipegang oleh pihak berwajib, menggunakan sarung tangan.

Tidak ada satu orangpun yang mengenakan sarung tangan ketika mereka sibuk memegang-megang barang bukti kepingan dan lempengan sisa pesawat yang menghilang misterius itu.

Reporter di televisi mengatakan ‘…masyarakat sekitar berhamburan untuk melihat kepingan lain yang ditemukan di sekitar pantai bla bla bla…’ Masyarakatnya berhamburan. Ke mana aparatnya?

Lalu ujug-ujug, keluarga korban mendatangai posko Tim SAR.

Lalu ujug-ujug, pencarian dipusatkan di laut.

Lalu ujug-ujug, semua nara sumber yang dianggap ahli dihubungi untuk menganalisa kejadian dan penyebab hilangnya pesawat.

Lalu ujug-ujug, semua berita menghebohkan ini akan hilang lenyap seperti tidak pernah terjadi apa-apa yang mengerikan di negara ini.

Karena masalahnya bukan pada pesawat, bukan pada pilot, bukan pada daerah-daerah yang susah dijangkau tim SAR, bukan pada betapa murahnya harga tiket, bukan pada cuaca, bukan pada takdir.
Melainkan pada sistem. Sistem yang nggak pernah bisa membantu korban, memberikan perbaikan, dan ketenangan, just in case…ujug-ujug hal seperti ini terjadi lagi…

Needful Grief.

“Is that what you need me for?”
“No. Can’t you see? I need you to experience many things together. I need you to share my space with. I need you to be the first person I turn to when I need a hug, shoulder to cry on, tell about good news, to share my happiness and sooth my sorrow. I need you so that I can take care of you. I need you to help me learn how to share and be with other person. No matter what big things and little things you carry with you. I need you to tell me that I’ve done something wrong so I can make it right. I need you to…to experience me. To help me experience us.”

RICOCHET

All of that thick time without you
Has made me so thick and drunk
And its okay to laugh about it
I said, its okay to laugh about it
Running twice as fast to stay in the same place
Dont catch my breath to the end of the day
And I’d rather be shot in the face
Then hear what you’re going to say

One day the wind will come up
And youll come up empty again
-and who’ll be laughing then? -
You’ll come up empty again
No reasons-no explainations-so play the violins

Its always funny until somone gets hurt…
And then its just hilarious!

You beat me every time you blink
If only I did not have to think
Think about you crackin a smile
Think about you all the while

On the ricochet - its going to hit you
Its always funny until someone gets hurt
You can laugh at me - when it misses you

____

No no no, it’s not mine. This is Mike Patton writing for me from ‘King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime’. I thought it fitting to sing it today.